We can’t turn on the television or open up a magazine these days without having the trappings of a lavish lifestyle thrust upon us – we all want to be rich and famous and have the home, cars, clothes and micropets to match.
Here is a quick guide to turning your garden into the kind of place that is usually the habitat of the film star, lottery winner or minor royal.
It’s all about the swimming pool. This is the showstopper, the jawdropper and the neighbourtopper. If your garden doesn’t have a celebrity-sized pool, you ain’t going to cut it in the galaxy of the rich and famous.
Sylvester Stallone has an Olympic-sized pool in his back garden – headed by a bronze statue of himself in full-on rocky regalia, of course – while Frank Sinatra had a pool that led straight on to his own golf course. Just watch where you’re going in the golf buggy!
If your dream home is by the sea – and if we’re dreaming why wouldn’t it be? – then you may want to opt for the infinity pool. This wonder of modern architecture will make you feel like you have the whole ocean in your garden as your eye gets tricked into believing your pool stretches all the way to distant and undiscovered lands – well, nobody said celebrities were the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Food and relaxation
As much as we’d hate to admit it, you can’t stay in a pool forever, especially if you have a photoshoot in a few days and you need to avoid wrinkles. Your aspirational bolthole is going to need somewhere in which you can enjoy some alfresco dining. Yes you could just have your cook rustle you a no-carb, no-gluten, no-enjoyment salad up in the kitchen, but let’s have some fun.
Roll out the barbie – and make it a big one.
When it comes to BBQs, the Weber Genesis is the true A-lister. It has the same sort of firepower that first sent man to the moon and has a similar amount of utensils to the local sushi restaurant.
You’ll find that you have plenty of burners to cook the amount of food that you, your friends and their entourage of make-up artists, stylists, hairdressers and shoe-shiners will need.
A top of the range barbecue like this really is the only way to cook your meals in a priceless property.
Usually when we think of some garden pastimes, we think of swingball, planting or if you’re particularly dull, creosoting. That’s not going to cut it in a dream house, however. No, you’re going to need to crank up the entertainment dial to 11.
Start off with a garden stage as no party is complete without some live music. Light shows and fireworks are optional for impromptu neighbourhood concerts, but you’ll regret it in the morning if you only put on a half-baked show.
If you want to keep your six-pack suitably photogenic, you’re going to need some exercise space. A tennis court, basketball rim and Formula One circuit should fit the bill.